You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are. - Fred Rogers

Image from Nate Berkus' Book "The Things that Matter"

Something that you hear a lot from people who are older is "I wish I had cared less what other people thought". I've not overly inclined to care about others opinions. I am weird and I like that about myself. I do however have an annoying and deep-seeded desire to please people. I want the friggin gold star on my worksheet. This works well in some settings. When I'm at Crossfit, my wish to please the instructor pushes me through the last set of burpees. It works less-well in other settings where I cave to doing things a certain way to make other people happy. I am thinking in particular of a weekend I spent doing hours upon hours of preschool laundry to fulfill an expectation at my child's school. Life is too short to do that much laundry people. It was my fault too. I VOLUNTEERED TO DO IT, because sometimes I am a dumbass. A dumbass who wants gold stars.

Compromise is part of life, but I don't want to look back and be filled with regrets. Why would I waste a weekend washing laundry instead of having fun with my kid?! It applies to the little things too: I want to be cool with painting "Make tacos not war" over my kitchen sink and wearing fuchsia every day and Mr. T style jewelery if that is what suits me. One of my colleagues dresses impeccably every day for work. She told me once "I know I overdress, but I don't care. I like nice clothes and I want to wear them!" The day she told me that she was wearing a dress that I own but never wear because I'm always "saving" it for an appropriate occasion and I'm a little embarrassed that it has a giant fish print. I think that part of the year of being bold is learning to stand behind my honest opinions even when they will be unpopular, uncool or even inconvenient for other people. The trick is learning to do this gently. After all if I am really being myself I am far more interested in making tacos than war.

Posted on January 24, 2013 and filed under Uncategorized.