An ad with fine print

Nutty behaving Would you like one of these?  Cause there's more where this came from?  No, seriously.  There's another litter that just arrived.  $30 gets you a darling Nutella-style puppy complete with first round of puppy shots.  This puppy will bring you: love, joy, peace, patience but probably not kindness.  It will bring you love and joy through the cute things they do.  It will bring you peace because you will be tired from house breaking them.  And it will bring you patience because you will be tired of saying "Nutella for the 300th time, do NOT jump on me".  The puppy will also bring you humility when they act horribly during your homestudy by doing their best to prove to the social worker that you have no ability to control a small animal.  And just when you throw yourself down on the couch in irritation:  said puppy will come over and snuggle in the crook of your arm.  Awwww...

Now for the fineprint:  Last week Nutella went on vacation at Casa Debi/Emily.  She was a very bad puppy all week.  She spent most of her time eating owl pellets.  Say it with me now:  Dis.gus.ting.  She also did other bad things of which we don't speak.  Then she came home and started barfing everywhere in front of our guests.  Awesome!  Health tip:  Don't eat owl pellets.  Well, Arnold got scared because she barfed  A LOT and took her to the vet since she needed a checkup anyways.  At the vet they scared him and he ended up allowing lots of tests which proved that she is A) Dumb B) Ate lots of owl pellets  When I called Arnold to complain about the price he said "WHAT COULD WE DO?  I'M NOT GOING TO LET NUTELLA DIE!"

Normally I would be pissed, but I secretly love it when he gets macho and bossy.  Especially when he gets all "Step off lady, I need to protect my 12 lb puppy" bossy.  That's the best kind of Colombian macho out there.

Posted on August 19, 2009 and filed under Livin la Vida Loca.