Hope

Thursday night there is an important service that kicks off official Easter celebrations for the Catholic church. It's the commemoration of the last supper and the start of memorial of Jesus' three days of death. At our church there is a very beautiful service where each attendee washes the feet of another person to remind us to serve and love one another. For me, this is one of my favorite times of year. I love new beginnings and starting over, it is an important part of Christianity and has always been the saving grace in my life. Last year at this time, Arnold had just been in a very serious car accident and we attended the service with my parents who had come up to help. I had also just started the job which would lead to they "Cymbalta period" that would occupy most of 2007. Also, around this time last year Nabil Garas died. Last year was definitely a period of mourning losses, of dealing with things one day at a time. I live in constant dread and anxiety anticipating moments like that Thursday last year, when things are going badly. I'm essentially a positive person, but constant anxious worry is a family trait that I can't seem to quit. That's not to say that last year was negative, I was actually quite happy to have my parents visiting and happy just to have Arnold alive in an accident that could've been much more serious.

But this year at church, I am remembering to be hopeful too, because it is not just the bad that is lurking in the future, the good is waiting to surprise you too. The day after that Thursday service last year, Arnold and my parents found our house. And this year around, my family has a lot to celebrate, Randy's great success, my cousin Heidi's finalized adoption, my younger brother graduating from college. On this Easter weekend, I feel like celebrating the possibilities and remembering that life brings joy as unexpectedly as pain.

I feel hopeful. :)

Posted on March 22, 2008 and filed under Livin la Vida Loca.