Episode V: Los Perez Strike Back

Since Arnold and I have broken up with Valentino we've found out a few interesting things. The trapper said that the only reason a skunk would spray under our house is if it was fighting with another skunk, or mating, or fighting with another male over a female. So basically there was either some domestic violence or a bizarre love triangle happening under Casa Perez last Sunday. PERFECT! Multiple skunks! Wednesday: Mercifully the trapper comes early in the morning and sets up a little cage thing. We throw a little pb and j as bait and wait to see if Valentino takes the bait. And.... HE DID! At 3:30 in the morning I wake up to lots of clanging. Apparently Valentino does not like it in the cage. I am way too lazy to get out of bed into our freezing house(since our ducts run under the house we're not using heat because heat=circulation of skunk fumes) so I just go back to sleep. Valentino wakes me up off and on again for the rest of the night! In the morning Arnold gets up and reports that we have indeed caught the little stinker, but it's not Valentino! It's Valentina! His lovely lady friend. She is hanging upside down in the cage and stretching her arms out. Arnold softens a bit and says she's cute. Personally, I think she looks like a weasel.

Thurday: Trapper comes and picks up Valentina and sets things up for Valentino who at this point is still at large. Except... there is a snafu. Thursday at 3 Arnold calls me to tell me that a greedy little squirrel is stuck in the cage. I told him "That's what he gets for eating food meant for Valentino." Arnold holds up the phone and I can hear the squirrel crying and bashing himself against the wall. Good GRIEF! So we re-set the trap and 8 o'clock our primary offender wandered in. Currently, Valentino is sleeping in his cage in the backyard. He is kind of lazy-butt, unlike Valentina he's not even trying to get out.

I feel kind of bad about the forthcoming fate of these little guys but Arnold says "Really?, they were having smelly skunk SEX under our house." I have to concede, it is a very good point. Let it be known, smelly SKUNK sex is not permitted in or around Casa Perez.

So that's how it stands. 2 skunks in 2 days. I guess in the coming days we'll find out if there are more...

Posted on February 22, 2008 and filed under Livin la Vida Loca.