Dear Valentino, I'm sorry to say that we need to break up. It's not me, it's not Arnold, it's you. I know the truth hurts, but I have to say it. We wanted it so badly to work out. We're not into "euthanizing" as Animal Control so sweetly put it We bought mothballs and such to encourage you to fly the coop and make your way in the world. But now you've pissed us off and we have no choice to free you from your mortal coils and dispatch you to skunk heaven. It really boils down to this. I love Arnold more than you, and when you decided to spread the "skunk love" so strongly that Arnold woke up at 5 am last night I decided you were through. You might have been saved except that when Arnold went out to the living room to find out what you were up to, he literally choked on your overzealous perfume. 10 hours later Arnold is still boiling vinegar and febreezing EVERYTHING to get Casa Perez back to normal. Plus, you pissed me off when you went yowling by the window(open of course to release your stench) at 9 am. You are supposed to be sleeping during daylight hours. It is for these reasons that we've hit the end of the road Valentino. We had our good times, watching you stumble back from your nocturnal partying and listening to you scratch around downstairs, but I'm not one to stay in abusive relationships. It was interesting while it lasted and we wish you well in the hereafter.
Amelie & Arnold Maghanoy de Perez