Dear US Immigration, I appreciate everything you've done for me so far. Your customary service has been exemplary, except for that one time when you told me to contact you if I hadn't heard from you within the next 365 DAYS and then when I called the number assigned on the 366th day it was out of service. I totally forgave you for that after you approved our adoption App in less then a month. (Big ups to the Hague Unit)
But I have to be honest with you, I'm starting to think you are a Gold Digger. You ain't messin with no broke, broke. I'm starting to feel you buyin lipo with my money. I shoulda got that insured Geico for my monaaaaaaaaaaay.
I know that we can't break up. We're meant to be together forever. I need your approvals to bring my loved ones here and you need my money to keep on functioning but let's be real and honest from now on. Let's not tell me things cost one thing only to send me another unexpected "Fee" for $400. It's all getting to be a little uh, excessive. Let's just say from the beginning "This will cost you $1000 because it always does in the end, doesn't it? Doesn't IT? -Deep breath here- Repentant stare on your behalf.
Okay, I feel like we've communicated now. I'm ready to make up. Please feel free to send me an expedited visa for my Mother-In-Law, you can send it to me at:
Super Happy Camper, Sacramento, CA